As someone who is currently taking a hiatus from working, something I get asked often is, “What do you do all day?” I know there are many others like me who are in a similar situation, and this is a great opportunity for us to talk about it.

The day usually starts off around 5am, when I wake up for the first time. I try and go back to sleep…sometimes I’m successful, and sometimes not.

Eventually, between 7 and 8, my dog wakes up fully, and it’s time to take her outside. I can barely muster the energy to throw on some clothes, but she has to go, and I have to take care of her. After I drag us outside, we usually go back to bed for a bit, or crash on the couch. Sometimes, I fall asleep on the couch for another hour or two, and then the phone rings – my dad, checking in to make sure everything is alright.

My dog is usually still asleep at this time (after having eaten her breakfast), and I attempt to drag myself to the kitchen to eat something. My appetite is sparse most of the time, but I know my body needs food, and force myself to eat something. Most of the time, I grab whatever requires the least amount of effort, and then crawl back onto the couch.

I lie there for a while, sometimes watching tv or fiddling with my phone, sometimes drifting in and out of sleep. This continues until my dog wakes me up because she needs to go out, and then we make a quick trip outside. After that, we just kind of rinse and repeat for the rest of the day. Sometimes there’s lunch in there, sometimes not.

At dinner time, I usually drag myself to the kitchen and grab something…anything, whatever is fast and not going to make a mess. I feed my dog her dinner, and then back to the couch.

We go outside a couple of times, and then eventually, we go to bed.

There are days where the routine changes a bit…maybe I have a medical appointment, or something else going on. Maybe the laundry has piled up to the point where I have nothing left to wear. Maybe I realize I haven’t had a shower for almost two weeks.

Unless people have experienced being depressed like this, they cannot understand what it is like. It may look “lazy” on the outside, but if they knew what was going on inside, they might be more understanding. Having major depression is not something I would wish on anyone…and yet, sometimes it would be nice if people had experienced it, so they could understand.