How Depression Can Be Unexpectedly Bad for the Environment…And Why That’s Ok

It’s not something I see talked about a lot…maybe because people don’t want to admit they’re doing it, or maybe because they aren’t, and it’s just me.

Like most people, I don’t like doing dishes.  Even on a good day…I hate it, but will do it because I know it’s necessary.  When I’m depressed, though, the thought of having dishes to wash prevents me from preparing food and quite often will event prevent me from eating.

To help combat this, I took a trip to the local dollar store, and picked up some compostable paper plates and bowls, plastic cutlery, and even a few aluminum trays that I can throw stuff in and put it in the oven to cook if it’s something that’s going to be messy and might be hard to clean from one of my glass baking dishes or cookie sheets.  I know this sounds incredibly lazy, but it’s been a real life-saver in that it’s making it so that I actually make sure that I’m eating properly.

As I’m doing this, in the back of my mind a little voice keeps saying, “this is bad for the environment!  Stop!”  But I can’t…not eating when I’m feeling this way is a major problem for me, and if this works?  I have to do it.  I have no other options.

Another thing I’ve started doing is not buying too much food that won’t last long in the fridge – I mostly buy fruit and vegetables either canned (the no salt added kind for veggies), or frozen.  That way, if suddenly a week has gone by and I’ve been doing everything BUT eating those healthy things, I’m not throwing them away and wasting them and the money I paid for them.

I’m looking forward to the day where I start eating my meals off regular dishes again, but for now…this will have to do.

There is Hope….

for my poor, neglected blog.

I started this blog because I wanted to have a place to record my thoughts and share them with others.

However, between being in the middle of a major depressive period for months and my BPD, doing that on either my huge laptop or my tiny phone just seems…hard.  Life is hard right now.  My laptop is too big to be dragged to my bed, and it’s so awkward on the rare occasion I DO bring it there.  I have an iPad, but it’s an iPad 2, and it’s on its final legs.

Sooo…it’s tax refund time, and I decided to treat myself, because damn it, I worked myself into a state of not being able to work for that refund.  I DESERVE to do something other than just pay bills with a portion of that money!

Enter the Asus Transformer Mini…I just ordered it on Amazon!  I’ve been doing extensive research, and although it has mixed reviews, it’ll do exactly what I want it to do, and I like the ideas of it having a proper Windows 10 install AND coming with a stylus!  It says it’ll be here on the 15th….I am very excited.

I’m hoping that having this new tool at my disposal will allow me to get back to my blog, and also improve my communication with the few friends I cling to.  It’s the perfect size for staying in bed with me when getting up is too hard, and it’ll fit in my purse.

Stay tuned for more updates!  I’m hoping to get into a regular rhythm of posting once I figure out the best way to do that for myself.

But, you know…mental illness.  That might not happen either.

And that’s ok!

Welcome to My Blog!

Welcome to My Blog!

Welcome to my blog, On Learning to Be Me.  I’m a web and graphic designer currently taking some time off work to tackle ongoing mental health concerns, including Borderline Personality and Major Depressive Disorders.  It’s been months since I last worked, and I’m still working with my doctor and therapist to try and get myself to the point where I’ll be able to return to work.

On this blog, I’ll be sharing my insights about mental illness and life, sharing stories, resources, and providing a place for discussion.  Please feel free to comment on any of my posts, and if you’d like to send me a message, please feel free to use the contact form in the sidebar.  I will always get back to you!

Thank you so much, and I look forward to sharing my journey with you.